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Internet Archaeologists Find Ruins Of 'Friendster' Civilization

Internet Archaeologists Find Ruins Of 'Friendster' Civilization

Researchers conducting the Friendster excavation say the site has been deserted since the year 2005 AD

Tags: comedy funny onion friendster facebook technology satire

Adults Go Wild Over Latest In Childrens Picture Book Series

Adults Go Wild Over Latest In Childrens Picture Book Series

Adult readers say they are drawn to the 'Green Man' children's book series by the complexity of its characters ranging from yellow to blue.

Tags: Books Today Now Entertainment onion satire harry potter jk rowling children's

DEA Recruits Lil Wayne To Use Up All Drugs In Mexico

DEA Recruits Lil Wayne To Use Up All Drugs In Mexico

The DEA says Lil Wayne is an indispensable weapon against Mexican drug cartels having eradicated 40 tons of marijuana alone by smoking it himself.

Tags: Entertainment News Room Music Celebrities lil wayne rap hip hop drugs cocaine mexico cartel

Report: Most College Males Admit To Regularly Getting Stoked

Report: Most College Males Admit To Regularly Getting Stoked

Panelists discuss whether there is an epidemic among young people today who get stoked over everything from free keychains to tacos.

Tags: teens In The Know Education onion satire college drinking stoked weed drugs

Boy Finds Own Real-Life E.T.

Boy Finds Own Real-Life E.T.

11 year old Thomas Demming visits Today NOW! with the magical friend he hid for weeks in his bedroom closet.

Tags: Movies Children Today Now Local ET onion satire funny comedy

Obama's Home Teleprompter Malfunctions During Family Dinner

Obama's Home Teleprompter Malfunctions During Family Dinner

Officials say the President's home teleprompter is simply a tool to make sure pillow talk with Michelle or conversations with his Mother-In-Law go smoothly.

Tags: Politics News Room Barack Obama the onion satire funny comedy teleprompter president bush

Ford Unveils New Car For Cash-Strapped Buyers: The 1993 Taurus

Ford Unveils New Car For Cash-Strapped Buyers: The 1993 Taurus

Ford says the '93 Taurus is the only car to drive in 2010, and they think Americans will have no other choice but to agree.

Tags: Automotive ospan Business barack obama the onion satire funny comedy ford tarp cars automobiles

Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck

Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck

Honors student Rebecca Bunten died in the crash today, leaving the nation to wonder why the grisly experience of burning alive was not reserved for...

Tags: News Room Politics glenn beck fox barack obama republicans democrats rush limbaugh bill reilly the onion satire

Fatal Staples Center Collapse Brings Merciful Early End To Clippers Game

Fatal Staples Center Collapse Brings Merciful Early End To Clippers Game

People are breathing a sigh of relief today for the long-suffering spectators' sudden deaths, and for the total elimination of the Clippers' roster off the face of the earth.

Tags: Sports Basketball nba clippers onion satire comedy funny

Finding Masculine Halloween Costumes For Your Effeminate Son

Finding Masculine Halloween Costumes For Your Effeminate Son

Anna Stephenson stops by Today NOW! to show parents of girly sons costume tips to survive Halloween without accentuating their child's already obvious homosexuality.

Tags: comedy funny onion satire gay children halloween homosexual queer costumes

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