What is the best David Sedaris Essay?

I have to recite something for school and i want it to be funny so i thought i would pick something or David Sedaris's

OldGringo:
He has one on learning languages that I heard on the radio a few years ago. It was pretty funny.

Holly R:
My personal favorite is "Jesus Shaves". It's funny, observational and, at the end, quite sweet. Much like Mr. Sedaris himself. Just be sure that your school doesn't mind the F word or be prepared to turn it into a different swear word.